Life Reflections at 73

In this rare and deeply personal solo episode, Barb reflects on her 73 years of life on Earth, and all the things she's learned and experienced in that time. She discusses love, heartbreak, connection, loss, sadness, joy, and most importantly, how all of those experiences have affected the person she is today. 

She also shares some excellent tips for fellow Boomers on how she stays fit, happy, and healthy - both mentally and physically. (Hint: It helps to start as early as you can. Take notes, 20-somethings!)

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Transcript

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Hi everyone, Barb here. If you'd like to watch this episode on YouTube, find us at at what's next dot convos with boomers. Enjoy this episode. You are listening to What's Next Conversations with Boomers. And I'm Barb Demaray, your host. If you were born between 1946 and 1964, you're a baby boomer. And I'm going to guess most of you listening are or near that age bracket. If you were born in 1956, this is the year you turn 70. I turned 70 in 2023 and somehow the number seemed much more than 69, whereas going from 68 to 69 didn't hit me the same way. By seventy, most of us are already five years into retirement, and for those who retired at fifty five, you're well into retirement and have a well established new routine. Although I am not bemoaning getting older because as many say, it's a privilege denied to many. My husband was one of them. He was only sixty three when he died. This July I'll be seventy three, and the number has moved me to reflect a little bit more than usual on the life I've lived so far, being acutely aware that the majority of that life is behind me. I'm two years away from being seventy five, which I feel officially puts me in the old category. I do though believe old is getting older and older. We're taking much better care of ourselves than we did a generation ago when eighty seemed ancient. Now many people at eighty can anticipate another fifteen to twenty years. The algorithms continually send me videos of people who are well into their nineties and beyond, many still living independent lives and mentally sharp. Do I have regrets? Truthfully I have no regrets. Has life been smooth sailing all these seventy three years? The answer to that would be a resounding no. It's through all the turbulent times we not only gained strength, and often strength we didn't even know we had, but we also learned so much through our mistakes. The many times I've said yes when I should have said no has taught me so much about the importance of strong boundaries, and that always needing to please others does nothing for our all around happiness or our belief in ourselves. I'm not proud to admit it's a lesson I'm continuing to learn. I became a people pleaser at around age five, and the tendency became ingrained, and it turns out it's a quality that's hard to eliminate, even at seventy three. So what are my goals now? I am rich in longstanding friendships, and my intention is to continue to hold on and nurture those friendships. They anchor me. They bring out the best in me. They allow me to give back. They give me permission to express my true self. I plan to continue to care for my body through proper nutrition and exercise. I'd like to sustain it for as many years as I can, and I am grateful for the wealth of information we all have access to that teaches us about things like the importance of weight training and movement. I've been regularly exercising since my mid twenties, and I have to say it's paid off. Take note, all of you in your twenties and thirties. I absolutely have to spend significantly less time on my phone. As we all know, it's addicting, but constantly scrolling means that we're sitting, which is so bad. I have to decrease that significantly. I'm learning French and have been off and on for the last ten years. I doubt I'll ever get fluent, but I want to get better. Much better. I've traveled abroad many times over the last fifteen years and plan to continue. Jet leg does get harder, but the experiences and memories I think are worth it. I have a close relationship with my children and my grandchild that I cherish. I will continue to nurture those relationships and feel immense gratitude for what we all have. I have a book club that's been going strong for twenty five years. We are six close friends who love getting together to talk about the book we all read that month, plus a multitude of other things. Sometimes we don't get to talking about the book for, you know, maybe an hour, an hour and a half or more. We have no intention of stopping anytime soon. Am I happy with where I am? I can confidently say I am. Can life be fuller and more enriching? Sure. But as cheesy as this may sound, I look forward to every day. I will add that five years of hosting this podcast has been tremendously fulfilling, and I have every intention to keep going. Am I content not dating? I've mentioned many times on this podcast that I'm a widow and have been since twenty seventeen, almost ten years. I plunged into the dating world about a year and a half after my husband died, and have had many, many dates and several romantic relationships. Despite the many fun times I shared with different men, I found it to be a huge strain on my nervous system. So much so I'm not sure it's in my best interest to go looking again. I wouldn't say no to a male friend to have dinner with once in a while or go to the theater. Is there anyone out there who wants the same? I've yet to find out. I feel fortunate that I enjoy my own company and never feel lonely. Alone? Yes. But lonely? No. What are some of the daily habits that keep me going? I try to walk for around 30 minutes every day. I have a nightly yoga practice. I have been practicing yoga for over 30 years and know it contributes to my balance, posture, core strength, and flexibility. I also do daily what's called exercise snacks, so I might just stop what I'm doing and do a 90 second plank or do some wall pushups or a wall sit or a squat, just little exercise snacks, and we can do them throughout the day if we've got an extra two minutes. For virtually my whole life I've maintained an afternoon tea ritual that always includes a cookie. I love rituals. I connect with friends and family every day, often in person, but at the very least via text or phone. We're learning more and more about the importance of social connection and how it contributes to longevity. Some say it's more important than all the other things we know about. I stay informed around world events, although I'm not sure in the end that it adds value to my life. Given the current climate, too much news consumption can be toxic, and I think we're all realizing that. Another one of my daily habits, which was passed on from my parents, is an afternoon nap. I look forward to it and feel absolutely no shame in admitting so. I practice French every day, which supplements my twice weekly French lessons that I began five years ago. So I'm on duolingo, which I do every day, and I also try and watch French videos and listen to French podcasts from time to time. There's lots more to say, but this is the essence of my life as it stands right now at nearly 73. We have a choice to either bemoan all of things that accompany normal aging or embrace what we still have going for us. Life is what we make it.

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This episode was written and recorded by Barb Demaray, edited and produced by Aidan Glassy. If you enjoyed and you'd like to hear more, follow us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also follow the show on YouTube at what's next.convos with boomers. Thanks for listening.